I’ve been watching the verbal gymnastics over at LeftintheWest.com about the Larry Craig situation and I feel it is incumbent upon me to help Matt out of his mental angst. In today’s post he posed the following moral conundrum: “I’m asking because I don’t understand how the outrage meter on the right really works. A President getting a blowjob from an intern? Impeachable. A Senator allegedly attempting to solicit gay sex in a bathroom? Kill him and/or make him resign.”

The reason that you don’t get it, Matt, is because the outrage on the Right with Clinton was not about a blowjob. The whole basis for the impeachment of Bill Clinton was his perjury, witness tampering, and obstruction of justice – not his adultery. You’ve heard about perjury – lying under oath – in an official court proceeding? Think Scooter Libby – it will help you get a feel for the underlying concept. The Left finally got a bit twitterpated about perjury last year. But I digress. During the Clinton/Lewinsky mess you were probably focused on the salacious details of the incident, given that you were probably a sex-starved young stud back then. However, for those of us who could get beyond the the diversionary tactics of the Democrats and the Main Street Media and actually watch the House proceedings on CSPAN, we had to come to grips with the idea of the President of the United States of America doing something incredibly stupid and then making it worse by committing one or more felonies in an attempt to get away without being caught. Thus the outrage meter hit the bell.

Now let us look at the Craig thing. Almost ten years and a couple of other Congressional imbroglios (Can we say “learning experiences”???) later, we have a United States Senator who is evidently dumber than a friggin’ box of rocks. Once more the outrage on the Right is NOT about the sex – there was none! – but about how a supposedly intelligent person in a position of power and leadership can be so arrogantly, unrealistically stupid as to: 1.) argue with a cop, 2.) plead guilty, and 3.) think he could make it go away without anybody finding out.

What planet has this ding-dong been living on for the past decade?

Anyone who has watched even one episode of Law & Order knows that when confronted by a police officer who is about to arrest you – you request a lawyer. And then you shut the hell up!!!!!!! It’s that whole Miranda thing (I’m pretty sure they had something about it in the newspapers in Washington DC and even Idaho.). And then – if you have even two brain cells to rub together – you listen to the advice of your lawyer, who will probably suggest that pleading guilty is generally not a great strategy. And next – if you were even a tiny bit conscious during the past few years you would go buy yourself a copy of Lanny Davis’ book about dealing with an impending crisis and follow his excellent suggestions.

But no. Not this lugnut. He thinks nobody will notice the lump in the rug. The outrage on the Right is because after Clinton, after Foley, after Jefferson, Libby, and all the other Washington headliners over the last ten years, this jerk hasn’t gotten the message: If you f**k up, it WILL bite you in the butt! And we are all fed up with watching these prima donnas act as if the rules don’t apply to them! So the outrage meter hits the bell again.

What you need to understand Matt – it isn’t so much about the sin. We’re totally outraged at the stupidity, arrogance, and hypocrisy of these sinners!

Off with their heads!