Well you all know I’m a thoughtful and considerate soul, so when someone I know needs help, I like to do whatever I can to assist.

Turns out one of our Republican candidates for Secretary of State is not only looking for a job, but is apparently seeking a honey to bang as well, so he’s trying his luck on the internet – specifically on Match.com. (I guess he’s struck out with all the ladies who hang at his regular watering holes.) So, just in case you missed it, let me share the highlights (H/T to my buddy Anon.):

I really am just an old cowboy. I have spent most of my life in and around the horse and cattle industries in one way or another (the hat and the horse in my pics actually do belong to me). I have also taken a side-trip into the political arena. I am equally at home in the cow lot and the Capitol (although, there were some days in the Capitol when it was hard to tell the difference… if you get my drift).

I would like to think that I qualify as a gentleman, and I know I very much enjoy the company of a lady. That having been said, I truly appreciate a woman who is ready, willing and able to do for herself but is secure enough to let a man do things for her. I really enjoy spoiling a lady and pretty much like it when she wants to spoil me once in a while too…

…So, if you’ve been waiting for a tall, lean cowboy/politician who is a reasonably acceptable cook, passable dancer and a fair hand with a horse… to happen to wander by… here I am.

There’s lots more, of course, if you get my drift, but since I don’t have an account at Match.com, I can’t provide a link. Interested parties will have to find it on their own – but I did verify it – it’s there (as of today, if you get my drift).

This is what I’d call a “bikini profile”: What it shows is exciting but what it hides is important. For some reason, he failed to mention a few things that a lady might find interesting:

– Short-term “serial employment” in the private sector – at least 10 different jobs (with different employers) in about 20 years. In other words, the ol’cowboy can’t hang onto a job longer than it takes a rodeo bronc to hurl his ass airborne.

– Losing three out of four major elections – Senate in 2000, Secretary of State in 2008, and PSC in 2010. Nothin’ spells loser quite like that.

– Attempting to pay over $50,000 in illegal bonuses to his appointed staff after losing the 2008 election. You really can’t say anymore than that about his fiscal responsibility and accountability. Watch your bank accounts, ladies. The ride you go on with this ol’ cowboy could be expensive.

– Chronic drinking that eventually led to his arrest and conviction for driving under the influence with a BAC over three times the legal limit. Because a drunk cowboy is a time-honored tradition, donchaknow?

Since not every wannabe cowgirl who might be interested in a washed-up ego with a cowboy hat and big belt buckle Justanolcowboy is on Match.com, I wanted to help get the word out that ol’ BJ’s out there looking for a new squeeze. Feel free to share…

I would suggest that any lady who is thinking of pursuing a romantic interlude with this prize cowpoke should take a look at his latest campaign finance report to get an inkling of his chances of continuing his career as a politician – just in case the whole idea of an unemployed cowpoke who’s been rode hard and put away wet too many times isn’t exactly what you thought he was selling’ and it sure as hell ain’t what you’re aiming’ to buy.